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Yasha and the girls escape the NYC heat.
I’m not going to lie. It’s hot in New York. There’s a certain amount of denial you go through when talking to friends elsewhere, trying to get them to come visit in the summer months (if you have to suffer, they probably should too)…"it’s really not that baaad". But as my hair continues to rise due to the humidity, the streets continue to smell of that hot New York funk, and lucid dreams of waterfalls and ice cream visit my airconditionless, sleepless room every night, it’s time to fess up.

Depending on what kind of New Yorker you are, there are different escape routes for the heat. Because I still don’t consider myself a true New Yorker, (I think ‘they’ say the minimum is 10 years living in the city, and that is only if you meet the quota of cursing at random strangers on the streets and subway for fucking up your day) I am still exploring different options for efficiently slipping out of summer’s hot, mean choke hold. The following will take us through the end of July, however August is a different beast, and desperate measures may have to be taken to tame it.

Beat the heat..Option 1:

Coney Island -

A mere two dollar subway ride will get you to this international wonderland of funnel cake and Nathan's hot dogs. The drone of Reggatone entices Boardwalk goers to Shoot the Freak, ride the bumper cars, or win that big green panda for your boo. And if the fun and games get to be too much, and you're in a funnel cake coma, take a seat under the one plastic palm tree on the strip and contemplate how good it feels to be American. Just do not go in the water, but you knew that.

Option 2:

The Hamptons -

Champagne wishes and caviar dreams. If you can weasle your way into a weekend or two with someone that can afford the previous sentence, you'll be rewarded with finely manicured lawns, white picket fences, gingam, and a chance spotting of P. Diddy at Starbucks.

Dennis

Emily, Dennis and I

this was right before I was detained for trespassing

Option 3:

If the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous isn't your cup of tea, a pool party in New Jersey is the next best thing. Go through your list of friends and figure out who was born in NY. Chances are one of their parents have either moved out to Jersey for more space and a little peace and ziti, or one of their cousins, brother's contractor and his fiance recently bought a house out there with a pool. I was able to skip the rolodex scouring and instead was handed the best Jersey pool party a girl could ask for. If you get desperate email me and I'll give you the address. Tell them at the door Uyeda sent you.

The way to Jersey

Jersey goddesses

The not so G-Rated water totter

Sarah and Alicia

Jeanine

Matt

Matt K

There was something I missed by not growing up on in the East Coast suburbs. Ice sculptures. And who knew - shots off of ice sculptures.

Prepping the ice

Jeanine and her dad knew all about the ice shots

Beth found out

And then the heavens spoke and there was baked ziti and penne in vodka sauce

And a sub

Sarah

There was even a pinata

Option 4:

Red Hook Pool -

I've got nothing for you. No pictures. But what I can tell you is this public pool brings you that much closer to the community with a basketball court as a locker room, and they clean the pool at 3pm. No running. I said, no running. Option 5:

Go to the West Coast -

When all else fails, get on an airconditioned flight with to Los Angeles. They've figured out how to deal with the heat year round, so you may just learn something. Botox, Scientology and the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Did you hear that Lance Bass is gay?

The ladies of LA

Kelly and Jasmine

Jasmine is from LA

So is Jen

Kelly lives in LA

The dudes of LA. James

Brodeo

Colin

Willie

This guy was a little sketchy. Kept talking about peyote or something.

Please send me any of your beat the heat strategies and I will test them out all August. Help me. Please help me. {moscomment}