the dolphin safari 2: shark sandwich internet dating game finally went down this sunday and it went off. we all met at dolores park for round 1, then to zeitgeist for round 2, then to delerium for round 3, then to kilowatt for post game scenarios. it was rad.
i have to say organizing 16 was a nightmare. schedules were way too tight and after about 5 days of trying to get people on the same page i was ready to say fuck it. but then i just thought ill pick a day and whoever shows up shows up. and instead of spreading the game over 4 weeks of voting rounds, we'll do it all in 1 day. i already knew we were going to have less then 16 people, i also was planning to have an un-even ratio of girls to guys.
so i picked sunday. and this is who showed up:
shane. it was his bday the day before and there was an intensive amount of partying. i wasnt even sure i was going to make it.
sabrina. when i called her she was on her way to the last giants game of the season. no telling when she was going to arrive but she made it there before anyone else. shes drives a motorcycle.
tony. when i talked to tony on the phone he would start giggling crazy. he was way into it.
ying. ying was super cool about everything and she actually picked all the dudes who answered questions. i got over reading answers pretty quick.
dave. dave helped out too. he picked all the girls who answered questions.
parisa. i mentioned to parisa that we might be short 1 girl, so she brought 2 with her. only 1 entered.
jeremy. it was jeremy's idea to have all the rounds go down in 1 day. it made a lot of sense after the evilness of trying to coordinate everyone.
alex. alex was one of parisa's friends. she was from poland and she told us how to say shark in polish. i forgot it already. maybe rankin? like stankin? or shabba ranks? i dont know.
ryan. turned out ryan and tony were good buddies and they had a pre-game sesh and showed up already drunk.
we were still waiting for betty to show up. and elizabeth didnt get off work till late so we were planning to jump her in at round 2 at zeitgeist. also, betty mentioned her friend shon answered questions and i was like, "hey that dude got picked but he didnt email me back", and she was like, "ill call his ass up right now and we'll jump him in too", and i was like "aight den".
my date was actually supposed to be in the game but i dismissed her from it so she could be my date. but she ended up having to work late so instead of rolling solo i brought jason and tried to jump him in the game. he wasnt into it.
so we got into it. i bought a 12er and with this many people it went fast.
thats consuelo on the end. i knew her since jr. high. it was a trip seeing her. she didnt enter the game so we made her wake up jason and get us more beer and some whiskey.
they forgot the whiskey, but jason shook up a beer pretty good and we made each person take 1 from the bag, we each opened them one at a time hoping to see someone get hosed, but nothing happened.
betty showed up and for a group photo we tried to make a circle of spooning. it was more of a crescent moon. crescent spooooon?
at this point it was getting fun, but cold and windy too. it was time to move on and that meant voting motherfuckers off the island. everyone veto-ed me cold. they said it was way too soon to dismiss anyone. chicken shits. so we all went to zeitgeist. aight geist shane called it.
elizabeth showed up and we jumped her in.
shon showed up and we jumped him in too.
we started partying pretty good.
ryan and shane.
cameo appearance by bobbylon.
parisa and betty.
dave and ying.
sabrina and tony.
elizabeth and jeremy.
alex and shon and consuelo.
eventually the time had come to seperate the girls and dudes and make them choose 3 to keep and 3 to cut. i got nervous. no one wanted to cut anyone and no one wanted to get cut. parisa at this point suggested that everyone make out with everyone, and then we do the cuts. not everyone was into it.
the dudes were having a hard time. it was rough to cut potential poonani. they had 2 picks down and they flipped a coin for a third.
it came time to annouce the verdicts.
parisa spoke on behalf of the girls. they chose shane, jeremy, and shon. wow.
ryan spoke on behalf of the dudes. they chose ying, sabrina, and betty. wow.
after the elimination things got a little weird. the whole group got cut in half and there was a lot of "im a loser" this and "winner" that. but you cant win the lotto if you dont play.
at the height of "what do we do now?," jake showed up with a pizza out of nowhere. we all got to eat and then we all went to delerium. it was rad the whole group stayed together.
shon and alex traded hats.
tony was cracking me up.
it was that time again. this time i had the dudes pick only 1 girl to win it all. they had a real hard time choosing. it took a while. what were they going to do? who were they going to choose?
the subplot begins here. the girls decision seemed easy. ying had made it known that she wanted to make out with jeremy. these girls had her back and said "we pick jeremy for ying". i was like, "but betty and sabrina, what if one of you wins?" and they were like, "we dont care" and i was like "huh"..
the verdicts came in and it was sabrina and jeremy!
these guys get to go on an epic double date with me and the first dookie millionaire contestant. dinner boat cruise? hot tub? who knows.
its off to the kilowatt.
this jacket was there.
john and dave were there, gaying off in the corner.
gandolf was there with a magic talking turtle.
ricky marrtin was there.
this is where we start seeing some stuff unfold. turns out elizabeth used to work at an art store that jeremy goes to alot. he had developed a secret crush on her and told her something along those lines or spit some kinda game at her that night becauase she had actually left and came back for some nookie maybe? but ying was on a mission to makeout mountain with jeremy. and what about sabrina? she won the whole thing, but she already said way back at zeitgeist that she wasnt going to make out with anyone before she got to know them better. and she was drinking water cuz she had to drive back to the phillipines that night, or daly city rather. and by this time everyone was all kinds of drunk.
we also found out that betty and shon already had hooked up the night before. so they had their own secret mission going on.
jeremy and ying.
as for all the others, who knows. but what we do know was that the shark sandwich was a success and i believe everyone had a goodtime. thanks to everyone involved for being such good sports. i love you all. stay tuned for the double date dookie millionaire sesh.
and its back to our regular program.
deep sea diver,
dr. dolphin sanchez
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